100 Days of Healing

You know all those "100 Days of Happiness" posts and hashtags going around Facebook?  Yeah, well, this is going to be my version of that.  Because, truth be told, I was starting to get kind of irritated with seeing them all over the place.  Not that I begrudge anyone for making the effort to be happy, or finding joy in the little things.  I'm just not in that place right now, and it's difficult for me to feel like it is being thrown in my face all the time.  So I'm creating my own version.

Okay, that was funny.  I went to look up an image to post for the "100 Happy Days" thing, and the site I found with pictures also put links to all the cast members of the TV show "Happy Days".  LOL!!!

Anyway ... 100 Days of Healing.  And yes, I guess that means I am prepared for it to possibly take that long.  Maybe longer.  But for the next 100 days I will try to treat myself with gentleness, and not push myself beyond reasonable limits, and listen to my body when it is tired, or sleepy, or just needs to slow down or stop for a while.  And tell myself that this is okay. That it is all part of the healing process. And stop beating myself up for not being as energetic and active as I used to be.  Not to say I won't try and stretch myself when it feels right.  But I think I know the difference between "stretch" and "push".  "Push" is what I did at Norwescon; tried to do too much too soon. Which is why I ended up crashing before 10pm on Saturday night.  Not good.

I do feel like I'm making a little progress.  According to FitBit, I am sleeping longer stretches and more "restful" hours.  I'm able to tolerate the CPAP a little more each night.  I still feel very tired, but it is a different kind of tired.  A less desperate tired, if that makes any sense.  And I feel like I'm getting some of my mental clarity back.  Not to mention a little more "Honey Badger" attitude.  All good things.

Yep, short blog post tonight.  I'm feeling really tired, and will probably be going to bed soon.  Yep, that's me, early to bed on a Friday night.  But that is okay, because it's all part of the 100 Days of Healing.  I had a nice little early date with my sweetheart at our favorite Geek and Nerd Tavern, and I'm quite content.